Recently

Lately I've been working... a lot and early in the morning. It's made my summer less about summer and more about stressing. I worry about all sorts of things, usually the normal things - money, food, the room-mate situation in my apartment (we have an open bedroom). But sometimes I worry about other things, like whether or not anyone will ever notice my work. The problem with thinking things like that is that I start to think I'm being selfish and stupid and then I look at my work and the work of others and feel like I don't really compare. Everyone around me assures me this isn't true but I'm not sure I believe them, after all they are all related to me or my friends. The truth is, I don't really know what I'm thinking anymore. I feel like it doesn't matter, when I look back on now in a few years, it won't matter that I am questioning everything about myself or that I barely make enough to pay rent and all my bills, let alone save any.

These photos are from January (?) when Rett and I went to Bend to house-sit for my parents (and make sure my little brother didn't throw a party).

Oh yes!

I would like everyone to meet Matty, my Busch Pressman Model D 4x5 camera. I got it yesterday and am slowly falling in love. Hopefully it will encourage me to take photos more and get to scanning my mountains of film.

The Return? Oh who knows if there will ever actually be one

You may notice in the next few days that the archives on this blog are going to jump back a couple of years. It's because I imported all of my posts from my old blog and will be publishing them soon-ish. In other news, it's summer so I'm too hot, getting tan (with some nice tan lines), and working... a lot. I actually am working in the morning this summer, which is awesome (my hours are consistent and gaurenteed) but also turning out to be difficult for my body to adjust to. I have two roles of black and white film sitting around, waiting to be developed and some pictures from this week to import from my digital camera. For the most part though, I haven't really been taking pictures at all. I want to, I want to go take landscapes. Despite all my feelings about wanting to be good at every type of photography, I know landscapes are what I do best and when it comes down to it, they're what I like doing the most too. I'm thinking about buying a large format camera too... oh god would I have to take pictures then! But they would be lovely... and just... ugh... I can't even find the words for it, so I leave you with this photo by Todd Hido: 

January 12

Most of the time I have to myself is in my car, this little guy keeps me company while I drive to and from work everyday.

January 11

It looks like winter is still around on some of the trees.

January 10

Late nights at work, mist in the parking lot. Lights illuminating the clouds and fog.

January 9

Early morning mists are my favorite kind. 

January 8

Rett and I took a walk through part of the the coniferous section of the Hoyt Arboretum. It was a lovely day, the fog was out, high up in the hills and the rain was taking a break. We needed it, a break from working, a walk in the woods that are just down the street. Rett hates having his photo taken.

January 7

Despite the constant raining, the weather has been fairly mild, in fact I've seen quite a few trees blossoming already. They're a beautiful addition to the dreary streets. Perhaps we'll be having a long and lovely spring soon?

January 6

Rain and more rain, Portland winters make me sad, I love snow too much not to hate the constant rain. I came to realize after this day that my project is more a goal to further integrate my camera into my life again. This was also around when I spent a couple of nights up all night, helping Rett with the paper he runs at school. My camera's been a bit out of my life in the last six months or so. I don't particularly like this photo.

January 3

Everything was wet at the beginning of January, wet during the day and foggy at night (those photos to follow). I forget the ways that everyday scenes can look different when the perspective is right. The lighting on this photo is the most magical part. 

January 2

I was on my way to work and took about 5 photos of this same thing, the sky was amazing, the colors rich, and my camera broken. I couldn't get it to go into manual settings and I couldn't get it to capture what I was seeing. It was a beautiful and somewhat disappointing moment.

January 1

I hope you didn't think that I had forgotten about my project. I have been diligently taking photos (nearly) every day so far. I decided quite a while ago that this was more about me not leaving my creativity on the wayside and less about me actually taking a photo everyday, because of this when I haven't managed to take a photo a couple of days, I haven't worried about it, as long as I still pick my camera back up. 


I started off the new year wonderfully. My room-mates and I decided to start cooking communal dinners, this was the first - spaghetti and salad. Simple and delicious.